Archive for September, 2006

Bad. Sequel.

Crap film despite this great poster I got really upset watching Clerks. 2 last night. I loved the original film; genuinely off-the-edge-of-the-world humour (the wall wasn’t close to being in range), simple problems you could empathise with, believably unbelievable characters.

This tragic, mutant, elder step-cousin of a film entirely fails to live up the standards set by the original. Matt observed that one key problem is the fact that there simply aren’t enough jokes. There aren’t: I think there’s like, seven, in the whole film. Relative to the original, which had a healthy jokes per minute count… well, there’s no comparison.

There’s also the issue of the pointless filler scenes. Instead of jokes, which were clearly too much effort to script for a whole 90 minutes of film, Kevin sticks in a whole bunch of quivering-lip-indie-music-playing-lets-all-be-sad-for-the-characters scenes, which are designed to provide the same emotional impact that a punch to the heart would. Needless to say, they don’t. They reminded me of the scene from Friends when Joey moved out and was looking through a fake rainy window - except that scene actually made me feel something. The scenes are tedious, pointless filler, hot though Rosario Dawson is.

The next thing, which is related, is the fact that this really feels like a post-Jersey Girl film. Kevin Smith seems to have gone through some kind of middle-aged meltdown: now one of my favourite directors is behaving like a man who has had a particularly helpful course of therapy and is quite pleased about the world. Possibly there are also some sedatives at work. Anyway, end-result - the film has all the emotional poignance of a damp fish. None of the gut-wrenching emotion of Chasing Amy, and none of the raucous humour of the first Clerks or even Mallrats**.

Next, all the characters (with the exception of the My Name is Earl dudes) were tedious. They don’t seem to have moved on at all in 10 years, and then over the course of the film, each experiences some kind of significant epiphany. Rubbish. Although the new kid, Elias, is quite funny.

[Sigh]. Film critics know little. The idiots in Cannes who gave this a standing ovation are… well, idiots. Kevin, I really wish someone had slapped you whilst you were making this film (possibly someone like Will Ferrell or Vince Vaughan, and not your wife) and pointed out that you had completely missed the point. Those guys know how to do coming of age movies, which is essentially what this is.

** I actually think that Mallrats is the best Kevin Smith movie ever, bar none, but accept that my view here is controversial…

Diary entry

Second Life diary, stardate 29 September 2006.

- Still don’t see the point of this. I’m in a virtual world that slowly loads around me whilst random people make conversations and friends.

- I don’t have enough time for my friends in the real world, why am I here again?

- The existential mist is clouding my brains, digital and literal…

- *The mist clears and I experience a moment of clarity* - why the hell do I have this ridiculous facial hair?

- I cannot get rid of this goddamn beard. Where can I get a Mighty Morphin’ Power Razor?

- ladeeeeedadeeee dumb… bored.

- Wheeeeeeee. Flying!

- Oh, It’s not that much fun. My mistake.

- Someone wants to be my friend!

- Sorry, who are you?

- Whoa. That’s What I Call Slowdown.

- I have inadvertantly pressed ALT-F4… Whoops……

Sucker for marketing

I was having a bad face day the other day, so I decided I needed the best a man can get. I bought the new Gilette Fusion Power Razor (or is that the Power Fusion Razor?). In any case, the Mighty Morphin’ Power Razor, announced here two years ago, has recently made it to our bonnie shores and seems set to kick some ass.

It has 65,548 blades, one for each hair, and when you press the power button, a crack team of Thai gogo girls turn up and vibrate the blade gently against your face. Until they are dismissed by the Thai military forces coordinating their activities, that is.

That’s one smooth shave.

My name Borat. I like you. You like me?

Got to see a special sneak preview of Borat last night. It is deeply, deeply disturbing. It is racist, anti-semitic, misogynistic, crass, homophobic… lots of other bad things. Of course, it is only superficially so — playing on all these prejudices to highlight the fact that a lot of random Americans have those ridiculous opinions.

At least, I hope that’s what its doing. Because I found it very, very funny. As did most of the audience.

It is full of cringeworthy moments, absurd stunts, unbelievable ‘reality’ set-pieces, and actually manages to sustain quite a coherent narrative as Borat travels across “U S and A” - an impressive act in itself.

In essence, good stuff. Go see it if you have a strong constitution and have ever found Sacha Baron Cohen funny. Don’t if you haven’t.

Not wanting to spoil you, I instead leave you with this clip from Borat at Comiccon. You like?

Spurs vs Slavia Prague

I’ve missed the last few Spurs matches (crushing defeats) and kind of been glad of it. Whilst I still make no pretence to know what’s going on, I have found myself quite emotionally invested and am actually getting quite stressed at Spurs inability to score tonight.

Argh. Hope we get a goal quite soon in the next half… expect updates!

Update: WE WON! Come on Keane, you got the monkey off our back! That was fantastic… I was really expecting a 0-0 draw, so a 1-0 victory is approximately infinity better. Woohoo! That feels good.

Lynx Dry advert

Is anyone else completely grossed out by the new Lynx dry advert? I have no desire to use that product. If you haven’t seen it and want to be disgusted, press play below.

PR vs Journo: FIGHT

Sorry for the delay in this post. Been planning to put it together for ages, but struggled to find the time and brainspace.

Danny writes about PR hits and misses (and about a specific miss), and highlights some of the things that PRs do wrong when supporting journalists. He very kindly credits me as being someone who stands out from the PR perspective. Thanks Danny, I think you’re a great tech journo and enjoy our conversations too ;). /mutualbackslap.

My job, for those of you who don’t know, often involves (amongst other things) supporting journalists writing stories by facilitating conversations with my clients (technology companies, for the most part) or their customers, and relevant third parties when we have access to them. Matching the relevant spokesperson/angle/customer often requires a certain amount of research/understanding of the subject areas, and the journalists in question. My status as a creative geek and my past experience as a (student/freelance) journalist does translate into a passion for technology stories that helps me here, as Danny notes. And I love doing it — you have great conversations with very bright people on a daily basis, both media and client-side.

Danny laments, however, that many PR people often don’t get it and proceeds to give a whole string of (mostly pertinent) advice… But I had a couple of issues with the post as a whole:

(1) Bashing at inept PRs publicly is harsh. Even the most experienced PR professionals will occasionally slip up (as do the most experienced journalists), but where Danny pretty much names and shames an entire agency, PRs are often not in a situation where they can respond. Not that I think online feuds would be helpful, but the context of these PR slip-ups is often complex - deadlines, client pressure, etc… events that are mirrored and cause parallel crapness in the world of journalism. Given that most people, never mind most journalists, don’t have the faintest idea what goes on inside a PR agency (”PR, that’s like advertising, innit?”) setting the community of PR professionals up to sound like more of a hindrance than a help through public moaning seems unnecessary. I appreciate that’s not what Danny’s doing, but people don’t tend to focus on the positive with posts of this nature.

(2) The advice — great. The tone, I thought, was unnecessarily harsh. How many PRs treat Danny’s emails / requests for interviews for a National story “with contempt”? Is it possible they were ill / away / the email got caught in their spam filter / the story sounded negative so they needed to get client input? Not excuses, granted, but explanations, and things that could happen to anyone. If they were that hopeless, rude or unpleasant without just cause - then I agree, it’s a major issue. You should take it up with them / their managers / the owners of their agency, etc., especially if it had an impact on your story. If it really happens regularly, then they probably sould be sacked, but it does seem hard to believe that there are (m)any PRs who’ll let straightforward National opportunities slip through their fingers.

(3) The move to RSS. Yes. Absolutely. I agree — all of our clients should have RSS enabled newsfeeds. We advise them accordingly. But… how many PR agencies have complete control over website content, and therefore any control over how quickly that happens? Not many. And does the fact that we have clients with RSS enabled newsfeeds mean that our clients will be happy with us not sending out press releases by email / calling journalists etc? Of course not. So the press list issue will be ongoing, I’m afraid, and will face the same difficulties any significant adminstrative task does.

So in essence: yes, PRs sometimes mess up. So do journalists. And the advice that people like Danny and Charles give out is often helpful. But getting het-up about inadequate PRs in specific circumstances (just like getting het-up over specific journalists in specific circumstances) is, I think, going above and beyond the call… After all, if every PR who had a blog posted about circumstances where journalists cancelled at the last minute/forgot to turn up to/were late for/were rude at meetings with our clients… well, I’d have a lot more stuff under the tag ‘whinge‘. And of course - we couldn’t do this anyway. As a workmate pointed out, four things would likely happen:

    we might get the sack
    the journalists might not write about our clients
    we might damage opportunities for the rest of the agency’s clients
    we’d look petty

…which is probably a bit more of a risk than any of us would be prepared to take just to get it off our chests. And my thanks to the colleagues who looked at this post to make sure I wasn’t risking any of the above!

Update: Chris spotted that I misread one of Danny’s points, re; RSS. Danny seems to suggest that PR agencies should host newsfeeds for their clients, not their clients’ websites as I implied, as an alternative way of receiving press releases. This is a whole separate debate which I’ll come back to at some point… but apologies for now, I stand corrected.

Just wiped the whiteboard

It’s a good buffer space, brainstorming site etc, but want to keep it as a short term store. Think that’s going to be one of the ways I motivate myself. To try to fill it up every so often, capture the information digitally, then wipe it clean and start again, hopefully a little further down the line. I’m still very much planning this novel, I’m coming to realise, and need to keep fleshing out ideas at least until I can give a straightforward answer to the question: “what’s your novel about, then?”

“My novel is about…
…a man coming to believe in himself”
…gangsters in London with big plans”
…pan dimensional aliens plotting sinister things and the forces of good that stop them”
…demons! explosions! football! death-defying stunts!”
…lemons”

Back to the whiteboard….

Birthday admin (a tech story)

I love having big birthday bashes, no matter how irrelevant the occasion - in this case my 26th, which, other than being the 5th anniversary of my 21st, is completely pointless.

The tech story (how do I always find one?) - is that I’ve been using Google spreadsheets to manage the dinner reservation (it involves tedious working out of set-menus in advance) — it’s very useful. 5 years ago the concept of an online-only service would have driven me nuts, but am actually finding myself moving away from the ‘thick client’ MS model - and there are two key motivations for it.

    1) I need to access the content from multiple locations, usually at least home and work. Being online makes this easier.
    2) I really, really can never be bothered to wait for my Office apps to load. Even on quite fast machines. It’s why I so often end up taking notes in ‘Notepad’.

So here’s my guidance for MS in their next release of Office.

    1) Provide a pared down, simpler, SAAS, web-based version of all the apps online.
    2) FIX Windows Live Mail so it is as quick and easy to use as Gmail
    3) Work out some clever integrated online storage scheme so that people can store large amounts of data securely online

If you do all that, reduce the license fee and provide the basic versions for free or a low subscription cost, you might make Google nervous. With broadband everywhere, and rumours of Mesh cities popping up here, there and everywhere… More people will be happy about moving online for basic software needs.

Cubacuba

Woooooooooooooooooooooooooooo!

Holiday booked. Negotiations not that complex this time, just four of us going and all fairly laid back. The complications largely involved finding somewhere Central America-ish that didn’t require flying for 20 hours, transferring onto a mule train and then scaling the side of a mountain to get to. We’ve only got a week off - otherwise would definitely get on the mule train.

Was that a song by the O’Jays?

Anyway, its very exciting. Looking forward to Mojitos, Castro… everything. I don’t really know what to expect - imagine some of the more ‘developing nation’** aspects will remind me of some of the crappier bits of Malaysia, so there’ll be some familiarity. But culturally I suspect it’ll be very, very unlike anything I’ve ever encountered before and I’m v. excited as a consequence.

What should I do when I’m out there other than:

    1) Say ‘hi’ to the Castros
    2) Drink lots of rum
    3) Smoke some cigars

Suggestions in the comments if you know anything about it, please, and will be greatly appreciated. I may even bring back gifts for people who tell me of interesting things to do out there.

** is that the PC thing to say? I don’t know anymore.


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