On hating food

Talladega-Nights-s25The diet has begun again in truth now, having suffered badly for the last 9-10 months with detrimental affects on my weight and sense of self. I’ve regained 30% of the weight I lost, and, no long feeling slim and healthy, am struggling with the running and unlikely to be ready for October’s half marathon. I and am otherwise feeling… diminished. Ironic, as I’m technically enlarged.

The calorie counting has restarted in more approximate terms than when I accomplished the first lot of weight loss; I’m not sticking everything in Dailyburn although I’m leaving the tab pinned in Chrome as a fearful reminder on snack time. It’s been more than two weeks since I touched the office biscuit tin and lunchtime soups and salads have resumed.

It has made me once again look at tasty food with a sort of jealous loathing. I hate you, KFC, for being so wrong and delicious, I thought as the waft passed me in Victoria station last night. Curse you, Papa Johns, for the delicious looking flyers you put through my door. And the food blogs I read…. Damn, double and triple damn all the deliciousness you send my way.

I remember, the first time around all of these stood as incentives; as I progressed on my weight loss campaign (on a diet that’s purely calorie counting, you can eat anything – just not very much of it!) – I’d decide I was going to have Papa Johns for dinner and so not eat much of anything else for the rest of the day. But I’d forgotten how difficult it is to be hungry, and faced with temptation.

That said, two weeks in it is getting easier. The habit of having a decaff coffee every time hunger strikes instead of a biscuit; drinking more water, eating more soups and high-fibre foods, the low-fat alternatives…. all are becoming as familiar to me as once they were.

Wish me luck. If I get back within my BMI I will force myself to run the half marathon – but that means losing 7kg in the next two months, so might be a stretch!