Category Archives: Weird

“No Tip”

…saw this painted on the road as I was running today. It’s probably just the grammar pedant in me but reminded me of the tip-jars you see in American bars that say “Tipping is not a city in China” (or was that just in the X-Men film?).

I know it’s probably impractical to write “No tipping” or “No fly-tipping,” just wondering if there’s a better way…

Bad dreams #34564: the Apple iCar

Pah, Steve Jobs won’t leave me alone. He invaded my subconscious. Last night, I dreamt I decided, in a spur of fancy and rebellion, to buy an Apple iCar. This doesn’t exist, but in my head it looked like a hybrid between a TVR and a Dodge Viper, had a docking cradle for the MacBook Pro that came with it, and cost £12,000.

None of which seem likely for the moment that Apple does enter the car market (quick prediction: 2018), but in my head it was also a hybrid. And Pescetarian. Which seem probable.

Now I’m annoyed with myself.

Space opera + Hamer Horror = Hamer Space?

Since reading Peter Hamilton’s Commonwealth Saga a few months ago, I’ve been itching to get into his bestselling Night’s Dawn Trilogy, which I finally did this month. I’ve just finished the first whopping 1,200 page volume, The Reality Dysfunction.

It has great similarities to his more recent series – a grand, swooping, dynastic space-opera with hundreds of worlds, a complex political superstructure and economy, a fantastic cast of characters, and some very creative science and technology.

Where its different? Well, it tackles religion. And also the walking dead. The walking dead, needless to say, is where it gets really weird. I’ve never seen the word ‘sequestration’ used so many times, even in that density of pages – of course, its possible I’ve simply never seen the word used at all. How does it decline: I sequester, you sequester, he/she/it sequesterers…

The book is actually quite suspenseful at times (if not actually frightening), and I am looking forward to the next one. The sheer level of intricate detail he goes to is astonishing – everything resolves, eventually. I just need to get through the remaining 2,000 pages of the series to see what happens…

Digesting Neil Gaiman

This is just weird. Via Neil Gaiman’s blog, which I’ve been reading in an effort to more adequately engage with the blogosphere (and because Neil is a hero of mine, and I’ve been reading my way through all his fiction) – some guy set up, as an April Fool’s gag, a blog of a man who was going to “digest the compleat works of Neil Gaiman.” By “compleat” he means everything Neil’s ever written, and by “digest” he means pass through his alimentary canal.

It seems that a fair number of people believed that this slightly depressed, lonely individual was real and genuinely working his way through Gaiman’s back catalogue, which is odd in itself. What’s perhaps slightly more odd, if that’s possible, is that the selection of posts I read were actually really compelling – and, oddly, Gaiman-esque (like honey and spiders) – as if the imagined digestion of Neil’s writing translated itself into the posts. Which probably makes sense, as the blog’s writer was probably a fan.

I’ve never been that big a fan of paper. But the idea of shredded Coraline as breakfast cereal has a certain… well, not quite poetry, but there’s something there.