In defiance of the fact that I know very, very little about football I’ve set up a mini-league and promoted it via Twitter. I currently have two fellow leaguers — Mr Tom Phillips and Mr Nick Leonard. Anyone else fancy it? Mosey on over to Metro’s site, go to “mini league” and find “Twitter League.” The password is twitter1234.

Join the fray. And don’t mind that I picked my team more or less at random, without the usual discernment I put into fantasy football (I look for Spurs players). I’ll buy the winner a Mars bar.