division6

(Reposted from my Flixster review).

There are so many thing wrong with Indiana Jones and the Kingdom of the Crystal Skulls. Here are some of them.

1) Shia Lebouf
2) That whole thing with the Fridge. Really.
3) A “space between the spaces” ship. Seriously.
4) Shia Lebouf again.
5) Monkeys
6) Ants
7) Tarzan Lebouf
8) Gunpowder magnetic drift
9) Rocket sleds
10) Generic Stalinist supernaturalist baddies
11) Shia Lebouf
12) Steven Spielberg’s penchant for leaving no loose ends or any ambiguity about the happy ending, and the new franchise…
13) …except insofar as the rules don’t apply to non-white characters and (obviously) Communist baddies, who all end up with a bullet in the chest or an exploded brain.

They should just make a proper film version of Indiana Jones and the Fate of Atlantis, and keep Shia Lebouf well, well away.

[Blog append: there are some brief, entertaining, familiar Indy moments. Stuff with the hat, the whip and some wisecracking. But really, not enough for 2.25 hours in the cinema hoping, dear god, for less exposition].